Playmobil family sitting around table

“It’s too quiet in my house” A parody of Julia Donaldson’s ‘A squash and a squeeze’

From one self-employed person to everyone who now finds themselves working from home and home-schooling children – Georgina Lewindon 

A middle-aged lady worked home by herself,
with a tidy table shared with no one else.

The PM man must have heard her grouse
“It’s too quiet in my house.
PM man won’t you help me please?
I need conversation, reprise.”

“Work with your husband,” said the PM man
“Work with my husband? What a laughable plan.”
Well, the husband came home and took over the table,
covering it with various cables.

The middle-aged lady cried “What shall I do?”
It was peaceful with one, it’s distracting with two.
My brain isn’t working, I can’t focus on calls,
I need a new kind of reprise.”

And she said “PM man, won’t you help me, please?
I need a new kind of reprise.”

“Home school your child,” said the PM man.
“Home-school my daughter, what a laughable plan.”
Well, the daughter came home and poured glue on the table,
rendering it pretty much unusable.

The middle-aged lady cried “What shall I do?”
It’s too much with three, it was testing with two!
My brain is exploding, I can’t focus at all!
I’m not prepared for this kind of reprise.”

And she said “PM man, won’t you help me, please?
I’m not prepared for this kind of reprise.”

“Take home your son,” said the PM man.
“Take home my 4-year old? What a laughable plan.”
But the son did come home and he sat on the table,
rendering it now very much unstable.

The middle-aged lady cried “Oh my Christ!
It was loud enough, now there’s far too much strife.
My son goads my daughter, I’m ill at ease,
I need a different reprise!”

And she said “PM man, won’t you help me, please?
I need a different reprise!”

(post-Covid 19)

“Send them all out,” said the PM man
“Send them all out? What, you mean that I can?!”
So, she dropped her son off to nursery again.
He’s loving it even more than he did ‘back then’.

She waved to her husband as he walked out the door,
Two people is certainly quieter than four.
She walked to the school gate and kissed good-bye to her girl,
and bear-hugged her friends she’d not seen in a while.

“Thank you, PM man, for during the strife,
I realised what was most important in life.
There’s no need to stay in a quiet house,
now I can go out with my kids and spouse.”

And now she’s full of frolics and fiddle-de-dees,
normality’s back and she’s very easy at ease.
Yes, she’s full of frolics and fiddle-de-dees,
Now she’s much more at ease.

 

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